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How To Overcome Failure

Failure is inevitable.

I know this is probably a typical tutoring article, but it is an experience that almost everyone has to deal with, that far too many people do not discuss.

Failure is just one of those universal truths that each person in the world has to confront at some point in their lives. Yes, yes, yes we all know this and it has been beaten into our heads since we were young, but the reiteration of this somewhat proverbial statement doesn’t ease the burn of failing. And more importantly, why do the successful talk about the inevitability of failure but don’t discuss the ways they overcame it. As if they just picked up their heads immediately and kept going as soon as they learned they failed. Or, they present their success on a linear path as if life didn’t throw a couple of curve balls. But, as a tutor, scholar, and human being, here are some tools to navigate the inevitability of failure.

The last couple of weeks I’ve had to deal with failure. And, trust me it hasn’t been easy. A couple of weeks ago, I interviewed for a super competitive internship that I really wanted. I mean I really wanted it. But, a toxic cocktail of nerves and stressful commitments made my interview less then ideal. When I received the email notifying me that I didn’t progress, I can’t lie and say that I was totally surprised. But, it didn’t ease the burn. I’m Tayler. I am a Marshall scholar, Truman scholar, Spelman woman, member of Phi Beta Kappa, Tavistock Tutor, and high achiever. I was accustomed to winning. Not getting the internship was a slap in the face or more so a slap into reality. In the moment, I tried to dust off an inspirational quote that I may have heard in a speech or a post that I might have seen on my Facebook. But, nothing directly related. All I could hear was successful people saying, “the road wasn’t hard”. Well, what exactly does that mean? Yes, I know the road isn’t hard but how’d you overcome the speed bumps, potholes and malfunctioning vehicles? Can you please describe the struggle and how you would overcome it? How’d you even find a map to direct your journey? How’d these obstacles make you feel and is that normal? But these questions weren’t answered in my log of successful people’s speeches or blogs. It was missing. The skeleton for the perfect all-American, “started from the bottom now I’m here” story was there, yet it was hollow. Successful people discuss failure as an obstacle to be overcame, but don’t discuss how to overcome it.

Since this blow, I’ve had to think about a couple of things… What is success? How do I even judge it or know that I’ve achieved it? Is it two kids and a husband? A foreign car and a mansion? Peace of mind? There are different definitions of success, but I had to ask myself which one did I align with and which one did I strive towards. Also, intertwined in this list of questions is the bigger question of : What life do I want to live and what do I want to leave on the earth? By answering or at the very least exploring these questions, it changed the way that I think about failure. By looking at the two extremes of reality, failure and success, it’s quite apparent that the way that success is achieved is through the variables that I assign it. I have the opportunity to change, alter, and redirect what I personally value as success. So, I shouldn’t allow myself to be invested in one definition of success because it truly is subjective.

For many, academics and college preparation are not linear paths to success. But, rather, they are laden with battles and struggles. To overcome these battles, it is important to establish a plan that defines success for you. Establish goals and seek to achieve those goals everyday. Each day you should be learning something new and trying something different. But, if your plan doesn’t go as you anticipated, you can’t be deterred by feelings of failure or doubting your abilities. Simply, go back to the drawing board and tweak your plan. It’s just that simple. Celebrate the differences in your plan, learn from your mistakes, and keep chugging!

Failure shouldn’t be the definition of your story, but just a chapter in your book.

LETS STUDY FOR YOUR EXAM TOGETHER

 
Melodie Argi
Melodie Argi
08:14 18 Oct 19
Tavistock tutors is by far the best tutor agency is London. The tutor selection is of the highest quality. Handpicked from the British intellectual elite in all sorts of disciplines. The staff is wonderfully helpful as well as being extremely attentive to feedback.read more
Henry Smith
Henry Smith
22:27 17 Oct 19
I have been employed as a tutor with Tavistock Tutors for over 5 years. I tutor mathematics and also help people with job preparation for different career routes (cv, cover letter, interview preparation and online test prep). They are simply a wonderful team of individuals who work collectively and strive to deliver the best possible service to both clients and their tutors. They work doggedly to achieve results. They are particularly honest and their feedback to tutors on how to improve is tailored, concise and always highly constructive. Even after 5 yrs, they only put me forward as a tutor if they think I am the absolute best they can find otherwise they are honest with me and explain why I was not put forward. I think this transparency is a huge reason for their success and keeps the best tutors on their books for years. Their communication on what a client wants is also clinically precise and effective and the team go out of their way to provide potential interests/passions of the client to help the tutor prepare accordingly for the lessons and nurture that interaction. Simply the finest agency and I have tutored with some of the best. World-class tutors and utmost confidentiality with respect to their clientele. I cannot be happier to work for them, a dream job with a team whose capacity for kindness, empathy and boundless intellect never ceases to amaze me. Their work ethic inspires me to relentlessly push myself to be a better tutor with their encouragement and constructive feedback.read more
Albert Tam
Albert Tam
20:50 17 Oct 19
Best tutors in London! Great experience and amazing customer service. Highly recommend, my tutors were all fantastic and a huge help. Really recommend Tavistock Tutors as I never had to worry about not getting the highest quality tutors unlike other agencies and online tutors.read more
I ME
I ME
16:13 17 Oct 19
I’ve used Tavistock multiple times and they never disappoint! I used them for myself secondary school, whilst at university and even now whilst working. Their service is second to none as are their tutors. I highly recommend them to anyone looking to better themselves academically or personally.read more
STAVROS MOUSLOPOULOS
STAVROS MOUSLOPOULOS
13:22 06 Oct 19
Why most reviewers have one contribution, namely to the Tavistock Tutors? High standards ? Mate get a real job rather than living off other's qualifications. Reality Check (See photos attached - that is the owner “looking for me” 1.5 years after leaving London and while my name and photo was on first page of Tavistock Tutor website...)read more
Jonathan Aaron
Jonathan Aaron
16:39 01 Aug 19
Amazing experience, the tutor was reliable, knowledgeable and reasonably priced and the company was both professional and reliable. Definitely will be using them again!read more
David T
David T
16:34 01 Aug 19
I used Tavistock for some Corporate Finance and Financial Modelling training at my firm. They were extremely helpful and the trainer, Simon, was of top quality, experience and charged a fair price. Thank you!read more
Olivia Pluss
Olivia Pluss
11:05 13 Jun 19
I had a fantastic experience with my tutor Elena and Tavistock Tutors. They were very well organized and made the entire experience so seamless and easy for me. I passed my assignment with great marks and the experience was much less stressful than if I had tried to complete the assignment without Elena's help.read more
J Mathews
J Mathews
11:27 22 May 19
My child used Glenda for HL biology. Glenda was outstanding. I would not hesitate to recommend her. Extremely intelligent, always prepared, knows how to teach/very helpful, and also just a nice person. Also, I would use Tavistock again for sure because we had such success with Glenda.read more
Alan Radford
Alan Radford
09:34 09 May 19
Tavistock Tutors were a delight to deal with, and highly professional at all times. They provided my daughter with an excellent tutor at very short notice - after my having approached them on a Thursday urgently requesting a tutor for that weekend. Tavistock Tutors immediately gave the matter their attention; they appreciated the urgency and responded quickly and efficiently, and helped to set my daughter up with exactly the right sort of tutor. Fantastic!read more
Sophie Taieb
Sophie Taieb
12:55 29 Mar 19
Very happy with Tavistock tutors services. They provide a wide range of tutors, from all backgrounds and for all types of needs. My uni son needed some help in research and methodology. We found a perfectly suited tutor in less than 3 days. He is very knowledgeable, punctual, open minded and brings the support needed to my son. I would definitely recommend Tavistock tutorsread more
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